birthday

birthdays have a strange way
of making you feel the loneliest
on your special day.

another year,
fewer friends,
thinning trust,
faith in goodness fading at the edges.

another cycle,
another reminder.
you failed, it whispers
it taunts,
a cruel chorus calling me names:
coward, imposter, liar.
each word grows sharper
as the clock nears twelve.

“happy birthday” rings in my ears,
but failure hums louder in my head.

they call you a liar while you’re breathing,
then mourn their guilt
when you no longer are.
what could we have done differently?
where did we go wrong?
why would she do this to us?

funny how questions
are only asked to the dead.
perhaps they were too afraid
to ask them in the living light.

but god
a fragment of courage
might have saved god’s child.

is empathy really that hard?

be a soldier
in someone’s silent war.
be a voice
in someone’s quiet chaos.
be a shoulder
for someone who’s slipping.

sometimes,
all you have to do is be.

and maybe then,
someone’s birthday
might finally feel like a reason to stay.

–justjokes